These secret arts that only coding masters understand are now passed on to you today...
1. The Straight-Faced Bullshitting Art
When facing off with the product manager over requirements, you deadpan bullshit about features that are hard or unwanted to implement, using metaphysics and other tricks, leaving the PM dumbfounded on the spot and backing off.
2. Three-Stage Debugging Art
Stage 1: Brute-Force Debugging Art
When you can't find the problem, try commenting out the relevant code line by line until you find the problem.
Stage 2: The advanced version of "brute-force debugging": Binary-Search Debugging Art
The form is similar to the "binary search debugging" method. When you can't find the problem, try deleting half of the relevant code and compiling/running it. If the problem still exists, delete another half and compile/run again. Theoretically, this method takes O(logn) time (n = number of lines of code), and legend says it's slightly faster than the brute-force method.
Stage 3: Production Debugging Art
If the first two methods don't work, and you don't know whether the change is correct, just push it to production and try... If it doesn't work, roll back immediately!
3. The "1111111111" Art
4. The Too-Lazy-to-Explain Art
When a programmer is too lazy to explain what they did, they usually summarize their code as "an algorithm".
5. The Obliviate Art
Looking at the code you wrote three months ago, you completely forget why you wrote it that way.
6. The Everyone-Else-Is-An-Idiot Art
The product manager is an idiot, the QA is an idiot.
The user is an idiot, and the person who wrote this code is an idiot.
Wait...
It seems I wrote it...
7. The Product Consecration Art
Invite a master to perform a consecration ceremony on the product about to go live, to ensure stable operation and rolling wealth. For example, like this:
Or like this
And also like this
8. The Code Consecration Art
Put a Buddha statue at the beginning of every file, praying for Buddha's blessing and a bug-free life. For example:
9. The Dumb-Luck Debugging Art
Make a random change and it seems to run correctly, although you don't know why. The specific manifestation is:
10. The "No-Superstition" Debugging Art
The specific manifestation is:
11. The Pair Programming Art
Two like-minded programmers place their hands overlapping on the keyboard and program in a front-and-back body position. The technical term is: spooning (勺子).
12. The "Charging-Up-a-Big-Move" Art
It means staying unmoved after receiving the requirements, then starting to chat on WeChat, browse Weibo, and watch A/B sites. When the deadline approaches, you start implementing the requirements and finish a week's workload in one day or a few hours.
13. The Mind Control Art
Use a mechanical keyboard to clack-clack away at code, driving nearby programmers to distraction, low efficiency, overtime, sleep deprivation, and finally a mental breakdown.
14. The Stack Overflow Art
It means whenever you encounter any problem, just useStackoverflow.comto find the answer. Good use of this art makes programming twice the result with half the effort.
15. The Metaphysics Art
The code that worked fine before leaving work yesterday — without changing anything, it fails to run now!
Add Some Spice Every Day
The turtle raised by a colleague
