For programmers, programming languages are weapons, but some weapons are easy to use, some are not, and some can even kill you.

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C language is an M1 Garand rifle—very old but reliable.

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C++ is nunchucks. It is powerful and attractive when wielded, but it takes years of practice to master. Many people hope to switch to another weapon.

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Perl is a Molotov cocktail. It was very useful on the battlefield, but few people use it now.

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Java is an M240 general-purpose belt-fed machine gun. Sometimes its ammo belt is round, but sometimes it isn't. If it isn't, when you fire, you encounter a NullPointerException, the gun explodes, and you are blown to bits.

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Scala is a variant of the M240 general-purpose machine gun, but its manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect. Many suspect it is just sleep talk.

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JavaScript is a sword, but without a hilt.

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Go is a homemade "if err != nil" starter pistol. After every shot, you have to check whether it actually fired.

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Rust is a 3D-printed gun. It might actually become useful in the future.

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bash is an extremely unwieldy hammer. When you swing it, you find that everything looks like a nail, especially your fingers.

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Python is a "v2/v3" double-barreled gun. Only one barrel can be fired at a time, and you never know which barrel you should fire with.

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Ruby is a treasured blade inlaid with rubies. People use it usually because it looks flashy.

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PHP is a water pipe. You usually connect one end to a car's exhaust pipe and the other end into the car window, then you sit in the car and start the engine.

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Mathematica is a low-Earth-orbit particle cannon. It might be able to do amazing things, but only those who can afford it can use it.

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C# is a powerful laser cannon mounted on a donkey. If you take it off the donkey, it seems unable to emit laser beams.

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Prolog is an artificial intelligence weapon. You tell it what to do, and it does exactly that, but afterwards it will create a few Terminators and burn down your house.

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Lisp is a razor with many styles. Only those who seek thrills and danger use it.