Before fixing, repeatedly tell the girl: computer faults are divided into hardware and software. If it's a hardware fault, such as the graphics card fan not spinning, monitor cable aging, or monitor resolution exceeding the monitor's specifications, all of these will cause a black screen. I can't fix that without going home to use specialized tools!
This way, if you really can't fix it, immediately shrug and pretend to be helpless: It really is a hardware problem, let's just send it in for warranty. When the girl treats it as a hardware problem and goes for warranty, even if the profiteering merchant finds out it's a software problem, he will handle it as a hardware problem without hesitation, so there's absolutely no risk of being exposed.
Performance (Part 2) – No Matter What the Problem, Just Reinstall the System!
No matter what happens, as long as the girl agrees, just reinstall the system! This is the simplest method, even though it's amateurish. But if you want to move the girl, this is also the best method, because the girl will think during the long wait that you are truly a patient and caring good man! Hahaha, so insidious. So when fixing a dinosaur's computer, generally diagnose the problem and finish quickly. Indeed, when a dinosaur falls for you, you'll know it's not an RPWT (character flaw) but a life-and-death issue!
Performance (Part 3) – Caring for the Girl Must Be Shown in Details!
If you choose to reinstall, be sure to repeatedly ask the girl: Are you really sure? The first time she'll usually say yes. At that point ask: No important photos or documents? She'll hesitate, but she'll still say she doesn't need them. Then ask: Your QQ chat history will be lost too! She'll say she doesn't need it. Remember to look thoughtful at this point, then ask: Are there any important emails? Emails will also be lost. Usually, many girls will back out at this point, and then they'll think you are super considerate.
If you choose to open the case, be sure to look shocked! So much dust!!! (I've only seen one girl's case with no dust, because she was just too clean.) At this point the girl usually doesn't know how to respond, so you immediately make a sad face for the computer: Such a good computer, with so much dust, how can it run fast? Heat dissipation will also be affected, so of course problems happen. Hahaha, while the girl feels guilty, she'll also think you're a man who really knows how to cherish and treasure things, a new good man.
Technical (Part 1) – Girls' Computer Problems Are Usually Brainless Issues
So don't analyze with overly professional eyes. It's usually just system settings not set properly. For example, there was a girl I built a new computer for, and she said the left speaker wasn't working. I went over to check, and sure enough, it wasn't working. No matter how I adjusted it, there was only static. I thought it was broken, that she'd gotten a defective one. But I didn't give up, and looked again: in the volume control, she had put everything to the right channel. I nearly fainted!
For black screen issues, check more often whether the monitor power switch is on, whether the monitor is plugged into the power outlet, whether the monitor cable is connected to the host, and so on!
Slightly more advanced: check BIOS settings, monitor resolution settings, contrast settings, and so on. Even more advanced: check whether the graphics card fan has stopped spinning. If there's another computer available, swap monitors with it to see, and it's easy to tell whether it's a monitor problem.
But be careful: if it's a girls' dormitory, use caution!!! Because girls' dorm relationships generally seem bad; even if they're good, they don't want to sacrifice their own computer for someone else's. This is different from boys' dorms, and deserves contempt! To look cool, bring a laptop with external monitor output. It should be thin and light; if it's over 2.3kg, don't carry it over and embarrass yourself.
Technical (Part 2) – If You Want the Girl to Worship You, Be Sure to Open the Case
Whether or not it's a hardware problem, if you want the girl to worship you to the point of wanting to marry you, remember to bring a fairly large Phillips screwdriver. I recommend the kind used by computer mall assemblers, very long, super cool! I usually bring two, one Phillips head, one flathead, one with a red acrylic handle, one with a green glass handle, like two short swords. With these two sharp weapons, the feel changes instantly! The girl immediately thinks you're a professional. If the girl looks scared after seeing them, don't forget to explain casually: I fix so many computers that I carry these around for convenience. Your problem may not be that serious; maybe they won't be needed. At that moment, the girl will only hope her computer is broken thoroughly enough to witness your dashing figure swinging your long swords! Hahaha, that sentence is just wishful thinking.
Technical (Part 3) – The Trick to Mastering BIOS Is Reading the Manual
Actually, most of the time both the problems and the solutions are in the BIOS settings. For example, booting from the optical drive, which you must know, is in the BIOS settings. What if you happen to forget at that moment? Turn to the manual for help!!! In fact, the manual generally has detailed instructions, even solutions for common problems. It's just that girls are too delicate and not suited to reading such stiff text. Your responsibility is to read them!!!
Don't think reading the manual on the spot is embarrassing! If opening the case can show your martial side, then your focused expression while reading is the best chance to show your scholarly side! Being both refined and martial is the winning move to capture the girl's heart. Only knowing how to wave your sleeves and battle the dust on the motherboard like a bandit will make girls think these hardware-loving guys are all dirty maniacs.
The best way to get the motherboard, graphics card, and other related manuals is either to ask from the start — as soon as you enter, have her bring out the box where she keeps those things and put it aside — or after opening the case, exclaim in surprise: Ah! This isn't reference design, I need to check the factory manual!!! No matter what design it is, with that one sentence, the girl will only think you're extremely skilled, able to spot the design at a glance. Actually, they don't even know what "reference design" or "motherboard design" means.
Feelings (Part 1) – The Girl's Computer Is Always the Best
Girls generally care most about face, but inviting you to fix a computer means it has a problem. So at this time, you absolutely must not add salt to the wound. Be especially careful not to say while fixing: Oh, this configuration, time for an upgrade. Or: This kind of no-name graphics card is best avoided. Or: XXX's monitors are the worst. Don't think this shows your understanding of hardware market brands and your personal taste; it will only make the girl hate you to death! In my early days, I made a similar mistake of not watching my mouth, and as a result, for a while girls didn't dare come to me when their computers broke. Sigh, a lesson from the past!
For the girl's computer, if the brand is good, even if it's an integrated motherboard, say: This brand is my favorite, its stability is excellent. This time it's probably a software problem, pirated software has so many bugs! (Whether her system is genuine or not, at least some of the software she uses must be pirated.) If the brand is bad, immediately say: This brand has always had the best price-performance ratio, you really know how to manage a household! Don't forget that when saying "you really know how to manage a household," you must look at the girl with a 100% sincere smile!!! If it truly has nothing going for it, if it's a machine that should be completely eliminated, then try not to say anything!!! Saying anything will only make the scene more awkward!!! Treat the computer as the girl's face, and you'll know what to do!
Feelings (Part 2) – Accurately Control Time and Create a Meeting Space
Generally, when a girl asks you to fix her computer, if she wants to thank you, she'll usually invite you to a meal. If the standard of the meal she treats you to far exceeds the normal cost of fixing a computer, then it's worth checking whether the computer has signs of deliberate damage. For different girls, some bandits would be eager for it, and some would avoid it, so accurately controlling the repair time is very important. Here I'll teach beginners some methods for calculating time:
Using GHOST to install an XP system takes about 25 minutes (if you're very skilled, within 20 minutes is enough). Using the normal installation method to install an XP system takes about 1 hour (I haven't calculated exactly; if it's a crappy VIA motherboard, it takes even longer after installing drivers). Installing OFFICE takes about half an hour (this can be selected in the custom install options; if you want to delay time, select everything, and you can gain about half an hour more). If it's not yet mealtime, or if it is mealtime but you don't want to go, you can slowly consume time by installing software. In the worst case, uninstall and install it several more times!
When years of fixing computers have made you sick of it, I recommend using the highly integrated XP GHOST edition commonly found on the market. It installs all kinds of messy software in one go, and the total time is about the same as installing a clean XP system. Once it's done, you leave.
Feelings (Part 3) – Methods for Testing the Girl's Character Through Computer Repair
Actually, bandits who use computer repair as an opportunity to hit on girls are generally people who spend a lot of time with their own computers and netizens, and don't have enough time or fixed places (such as university self-study rooms, English corners, or public social venues) to meet real girls. Many experts in this area have successfully made up for their relationship shortcomings while fixing computers, and smoothly found their other half! But not all encounters have happy endings. Apart from the bandit's own RPWT, the main issue is that they don't pay attention to the girl's RPWT when repairing computers. Here are some personal suggestions:
If the girl only stands aside watching you fix it and doesn't even pour you a glass of water, unless she's too young and inexperienced, then this kind of girl basically doesn't know how to care for others, nor how to respect other people's labor and contributions. Unless she's a super beauty, forget it!
If the girl keeps asking about this and that, especially if she mainly asks why you're fixing it this way, then this kind of girl doesn't take division of labor seriously, likes to dominate everything, can't respect authority, and doesn't trust reason. Marrying her will only give you a nagging supervisor. If you don't like being bossed around and don't have masochistic tendencies, then this kind of girl is a lost cause!
If the girl keeps asking whether you want water, whether you want to rest for a while, and also asks about things unrelated to fixing the computer, such as asking where you learned such good skills — if she's attentive to the point of being abnormally enthusiastic, congratulations! This girl wants to pick you up!!! If this girl is always warm to everyone, then she's the type who excels at public relations and has strong management and organizational skills. This kind of girl will also become the manager of the future household, but fortunately it's a people-oriented management, so you won't suffer too much. As long as she isn't the type who excessively climbs the ladder by flattering superiors, she's actually a pretty decent choice.
If the girl doesn't talk much, silently pours you a glass of water, then watches from the side and occasionally comes over to hand you things, she's the virtuous wife and loving mother type, the kind who is willing to silently support you from behind. If you're a career-oriented bandit, don't hesitate to pick up this girl!!! Absolutely excellent. (Even if she's a dinosaur, it's worth considering.)
If the girl gives you something to eat, that proves she doesn't treat you as an outsider; if you've never seen each other before, that proves she has a good impression of you! Kid, you've struck gold!
If the girl stands while watching you fix the computer when there's a seat available, those standing close are worried about the computer! Those standing far away, unless they have super good eyesight, are the type with a sense of sharing hardships. They generally have compassion and are more patriotic (check this against yourself when the time comes).
MM sits and watches you fix the computer, normal; MM sits but doesn't look at you, eyes wander elsewhere or she does her own little gestures, give up! She already has someone she likes!
MM lies down and watches you fix the computer (that actually exists!) It only happens with those who are too familiar with me! Never happened on the first encounter; if it really did, it would be an RPWT!!!
MM goes to take a shower while you fix the computer (encountered once!) If this MM hasn't showered for three days, then she treats you as family; I think if the relationship is very close, this is nothing; if she does this on the first visit, it is recommended to run away or lie down!!!
MM introduces her parents to you while you fix the computer (when fixing at her home), or shows you photos of her family stored on the computer; she hopes very much to become your important friend.
MM introduces another MM to you when fixing the computer. The computer actually has no problem. This MM thinks you're a nice person; "fertile water shouldn't flow to outsiders" — she lets her own sisters benefit first. Or her sister just recently broke up and needs to find a guy to act as a rebound for a while.