A and B (programmer) chatting

A: "My wife treats me very well, she stays up late with me every day to finish work!"

B: "My wife is the same."

A: "My wife can tell me jokes when I'm tired!"

B: "My wife tells me jokes too."

A: "My wife can drive me wild when I have needs!"

B: "My wife can help me too."

A: "Oh? So your wife is also very gentle and pretty?"

B："……"

At night, B hugs his laptop, gets into the bed, and whispers to it: "Good night, my dear!"

Man: First question: For my second and third questions, can you answer with "yes" and "no"?

Woman: Of course!

Man: Second question: For my third question, "Can you be my girlfriend?" Can your answer be the same as the answer to the second question?

Woman: Yes...

Man: Third question: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: No.

Man: You're breaking your word... For my second question, you answered "yes".

Woman: Fine,

For your second question, I answer "no"!!!

Man: Okay, my third question: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: No!!!

Man: You lied again. Just now you answered "no" to my second question. How can the answer to the second question be the same as the answer to the third question?

A woman: If you can make everyone on this forum start arguing, I'll go with you tonight. A software engineer: PHP is the best language! The forum exploded, all kinds of arguments... Woman: I'm convinced, let's go. You can do whatever you want. Software engineer: Not today. I must convince them that PHP has to be the best language. Woman: ...

A programmer went on a blind date and said, "I'm a programmer." The beauty said, "Hello, Mr. Cheng." The programmer said, "Just call me 'Xu Yuan'."

A programmer asked the Zen master: "Master, I'm healthy, have correct thoughts, and am good in every way. Why don't I have a girlfriend?" The Zen master smiled and replied: "The reason is simple, but if you want to know, you must first write a piece of Java code." The young man pondered for a moment, then finished. "Write a piece of C# as well." Finished. "Write a piece of PHP as well." Finished. "This is the reason."

Programmer doggerel

In the office building there are offices; in the offices are programmers;

Programmers write programs, and trade programs for wine money.

Sober, they sit online; drunk, they sleep offline;

Drunk and sober, day after day; online and offline, year after year.

Rather die old among computers than bow before the boss;

Mercedes-Benz and BMW are for the rich; programmers take buses and bicycles.

Others laugh at me for being too crazy; I laugh at myself for having such a lowly fate;

Haven't you seen the pretty girls all over the street? Which one belongs to a programmer?